Feeling Blah and Once Again Back in Utah

*I started this Tuesday morning. Some parts might not make much sense the way I wrote it but it's mostly for me*


I'm not sure how to start this post. I don't know if it is too soon or if it is okay to be blogging about what is going on. As my title says I'm back in Utah. I was in Colorado for one whole week before I came back this time. And luckily it doesn't have to do with Dominik. I am going to write this one for me. It is sad, so if you don't want sad today don't read any farther.
My Aunt Corey was diagnosed with leukemia 17 years ago when she was 23. She went into remission and has gone about her life. A year ago she got a bone infection and I guess it triggered the leukemia again. Four months ago she went back into remission and a week ago was put back in the hospital because it was back. This time it spread to her brain and there was nothing her doctors could do.
I talked to my mom yesterday afternoon (Monday) and she told me they weren't going to do the surgery to put a catheter in her to pump chemo drugs directly into her brain, they couldn't because her clotting factors were too low. When my Grandma, Corey's girls, and all of her brother's and sister's got there they turned off the machines.
Kevin got the rest of the day off work and he brought me and the kids to Utah. Aunt Corey died when we got to Price. In a way I'm glad she went fast, but at the same time I wish I could have been there. I feel like my mom needed me. In all of this I am most sad for Amber, Alex, Grandma, and my mom. She is having a really hard time with it. I don't know how to help or not to help.
I found out last night (Tuesday) the funeral is on Friday. My friend is going to take Cheltzi and Dominik overnight. I tried to explain to Cheltzi that Aunt Corey went to be with Heavenly Father because she died. She didn't understand and started crying because she thought Heavenly Father had died too. I don't know how to explain it to her so I thought it would be better for her to not be there. I don't think it is fair for her to have to understand right now.

**A few things that have gotten me through the last couple of days: the power of the priesthood (I had Kevin give me a blessing on Sunday because I felt like I needed one. Who knew Corey's Death was part of the reason I needed one?). Prayer. And Primary songs. Even if I can't remember all the words. I just realized that all of them started with a "p". Just so you know I didn't mean for that to happen.**